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Bob February 28, 2013 at 08:10 PM
If I may, I had similar issues with family. The first question is who kept her away? Her parents or her? If she is 30 and has not reached out that is one thing. If she is 22 that is completely different in my opinion. So what to do? If she is young (just out of college and parents control) send a regret with a note saying you had a scheduled event that day and thank her for thinking of you. Also ask her if you can get together after the wedding for a visit. If she is 30 (long out of parent control) simply send a regret and let it stop there. Good luck what ever you choose!
jozkid March 01, 2013 at 12:19 AM
I'm not sure I understand. Have you not seen your niece because of distance? Family rift? Sickness? There was a serious rift in my own family that lasted for decades... something that happened well before I was even born. It had brothers and sisters choosing sides, and those sides didn't speak to each other. Over the years the situation changed. Time and death softened some of the hard feelings. When I got married, I made it a point to invite those long-long relatives (and I was over 30 when I got married), not in the hope of getting more gifts, but to help heal all those wounded feelings. There was an entire side of my family I never got the opportunity to know. Some did not attend, but at least I tried. If this sounds similar to the situation you are facing, I guess you have to ask yourself if someone who was only five when you last saw her should be shunned in this way. Perhaps she, too, is extending an olive branch by inviting you to become part of her family and her life once again.
Hollie Gonzalez March 01, 2013 at 02:15 AM
Hello guy, Did you ever ask her why she is in such a bad mood? I mean if it is an all the time thing, maybe there is an under lying problem. I know people who are like that and it is just their personality and nothing can be done about it, you have to love them or unfortunately leave them. I would ask her to sit down and have a real heart to heart with her, tell her how you feel, what you see and ask her what you can do to help. 4 years is a long time and I would say it is worth at least trying.
Hollie Gonzalez March 01, 2013 at 02:29 AM
Hi Auntie, I have to say I agree with both Bob and Jozkid below. Why haven't you seen your neice in so long? How old is she now? What makes you think she is inviting you for a gift if you haven't seen her in so long? Maybe she is truly trying to get the family together. There are alot of factors in play here. I believe this is not an easy decision, and I can understand your aggravation and you are certainly not obligated by any means to go. If you choose to go, good for you and maybe you can get to know your neice and her "new" family. You can make new bonds and have new memories. If you choose not to go, then you should absolutely send a response saying so. She made the effort to invite you, then you can make the effort to politely decline. You know, families are funny. You have them to surround you, love you, raise you, comfort you, fight with you, hate you, cry with you, and carry you, but most of all, they are supposed to be there for you through thick and thin and forgiveness is a big part of it. You said you haven't seen her since she was 5. I am betting it was not her doing. Maybe it is time to be there.
jane March 01, 2013 at 05:44 PM
Hollie, I saw my boss having some liquid corage in the bathroom today. She literally had about 4 nips of vodka on the sink. She meant to lock the door, but apparently forgot. I froze wehn I saw it then her.. I abruptly turned around and walked out. She swung by my cube later and made a comment that "She is the Boss and its her way or the highway" I took that as don't tell or your fired...She left for a business meeting right after. I feel like I should tell someone..What do I do, I need my job. Thanks.

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